autism assistance dog for conor

helping conor in a furry and cuddly way

My son’s Autistic, what’s your excuse?

on July 22, 2013

Unfortunately some stories merit their own category, hence the title. Eventually I find some humor in these stories, but sometimes I just need to vent. Case in point: I take the boys to the library, a place I consider a “safe zone” since I can manage both Conor and Jack, even when things get rough. One day Conor decided to run around the Rec Room, which is a big area and not in use that day. There were two ladies in the corner talking. I asked Conor to come with me and he started having a tantrum. I used my usual calming method: deep pressure hug and have him count to ten (as many times as necessary). Jack kept egging him on, which made things worse. Then one of the ladies shouted at them “Boys, I’m a teacher and you better be quiet and behave!”. That just made things worse. Conor had a full on tantrum, Jack started crying and I was mad as all get out. I explained that Conor was autistic and she replied she wasn’t really a teacher, but she did that to kids to scare them so they got in line.

This was the time I wish I was quick with the witty replies. But no. I can think of many now, but couldn’t at that moment. I was on the verge of tears and having my own meltdown.

I picked Conor up (no easy task considering how big he is and when he is screaming and thrashing about), told Jack to follow me, and hurried to the exit. Then the lady came over to me, and I don’t know what she was going to say, but I glared at her and just angrily said “don’t even” and walked away.

So, I don’t know what the moral here is, or where the humor is for that matter, but I do know that woman gave teachers everywhere a bad name. Our teachers have been nothing but kind and helpful, and my kids have put them through a lot! I also learned that people are not as autism aware as I thought they were and perhaps not as autism-accepting. I also was reminded there are idiots everywhere, even at the library.

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4 responses to “My son’s Autistic, what’s your excuse?

  1. Susan says:

    Honey, you are doing an absolutely GREAT job with the boys!!!! I Love You! Mom

  2. vgosbee says:

    I never really knew what autism was until my oldest son Damian was diagnosed back in 2006 (I think). Before that I always considered myself tolerant of people and children with special needs and thought that my knowledge on the matter was vast. I now know this was not true that I only knew the tip of the iceburg, keep heart and know that no matter how much awareness is spread other people will not truly understand until they have spent a great deal of time with an individual who has this diagnosis or some others!

  3. Very well said! I too never understood what other folks dealt with in their own world, and certainly don’t understand everyone’s situation, even those in the autism world. Every child is different. This is true not only of parents and family of autistic children, but of families going through their own difficulties. It’s true that you never know what someone is going through until you walk in that person’s shoes. Good thing to remember 🙂

  4. poetivity says:

    I recommend teaching your boys “turtling.” It’s a pressure method they can use quietly in a chair. They sit in a hard chair (like a school chair), put both hands down and hold on to the bottom of the chair, then they pull down hard onto the top of the chair. It gives a nice pressure sensation all over the body and doesn’t disturb anyone.

    I also recommend teaching the young boys the color method for recognizing the escalation of their sensory needs.

    Best of luck and love to you.

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